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Manti Te’o’s girlfriend MEANT to meet up with him in Hawaii. She really did. But it was not meant to be. “Excuse me. Could you tell me how to get to the medical school? I’m supposed to be giving a lecture in twenty minutes and my driver’s a bit lost.”
“This is the best damn reenactment ever.”
“We should probably teach people about the rebellion again next weekend.”
“I didn’t add the shark yet, hold on.”
The popularity of reenacting the American Civil War grew exponentially throughout the 20th century.
Concerned that historical accuracy was being sacrificed by so many casual, mainstream reenactors, Justice Bird decided to move on.
He started his “Whiskey Rebellion” Reenactment Club shortly thereafter.
“God bless whiskey… and God bless Justice Bird.”
Justice Bird’s great-grandpa sat on the board of 86 different companies. He dominated half a dozen railroads, several banks, and scores of industrial concerns. Truly, he was one of the richest and most powerful figures in financial history.
On rare occasions, he would misstep.
Horse sh*t!
How your parents see you:
How you see you:
How your dog sees you:
What to do if you see a tapeworm:
1) Do not befriend the tapeworm
2) Do not let the tapeworm see you are afraid
3) Do not let the tapeworm crawl down your throat, or up your butt
A phrase that you that you will never, EVER hear:
“Thanks for sharing your political views – I see
where you’re coming from and you totally convinced me!!!!
During the Great Depression, no one trusted banks.
Including Justice Bird’s grandpa.
“This depression better end soon. It’s starting to impact my love life.”
A phrase that you that you will never, EVER hear:
“Yeah, we tried couples counseling -
it totally worked and we’re in love again!!!”
